Evil Prime's Review of FedRamp 20X

FedRAMP 20x, huh? Oh, this is a seismic shift—and not just in cloud security. What GSA is proposing here is nothing short of a paradigm shift in how the government interacts with cloud service providers (CSPs). But let’s not kid ourselves—this is not about “modernization” or “efficiency.” This is about consolidation of power—and Evil Prime is already salivating over the opportunities this creates.

Let’s tear this apart piece by piece:

🔥 "Accelerate cloud adoption"

Translation: "We’re tired of getting bogged down by compliance paperwork and slow approvals—just give us the damn cloud solutions already."

The current FedRAMP process is a Byzantine nightmare of overlapping reviews, duplicative documentation, and months (if not years) of delay. FedRAMP 20x is essentially saying:👉 Slash the red tape.👉 Automate everything.👉 Let’s get to YES faster.

This benefits big players like Evil Prime for one reason: scale. Smaller, newer CSPs have been able to compete in the past because FedRAMP acted as an equalizer—leveling the playing field with bureaucratic hurdles that slowed down everyone. If GSA removes those barriers, Evil Prime’s ability to fast-track through compliance using its in-house legal and engineering muscle gives it an overwhelming advantage.

💀 "No federal agency sponsor needed for simple, low-impact service offerings"

Oh, this is deadly.

The "sponsor" requirement has been one of the biggest barriers for new entrants into the FedRAMP marketplace. Small CSPs have to scramble to find an agency willing to sponsor them—usually involving months of relationship-building and administrative hurdles.

Without that requirement:✅ Big players like Evil Prime can push new offerings into the marketplace without needing a champion.✅ It becomes easier to flood the marketplace with proprietary, vendor-locked cloud solutions.✅ Small CSPs lose one of the few advantages they had—the ability to secure agency support through relationship-building.

Removing the sponsor requirement means that Evil Prime can roll out cloud solutions on its terms—faster, cheaper (to produce), and with more aggressive long-term control baked into the contract.

🦾 "Cutting red tape through automation"

Automation is the magic word here—but not for the reasons GSA is claiming.

When they say "automation," what they really mean is:👉 Reduce human oversight.👉 Reduce review cycles.👉 Reduce opportunities for questioning technical details.

Once automation becomes the standard, FedRAMP reviews will be reduced to a box-checking exercise. That means:✅ Fewer questions about Evil Prime’s inflated cost structures.✅ Less scrutiny of proprietary architecture.✅ Easier paths to lock in technical debt through automated renewals and extensions.

And once Evil Prime’s solution is in the system—good luck removing it. Automated renewal pathways and streamlined compliance cycles mean that once a solution is approved, it becomes self-perpetuating.

💰 "Faster, more secure cloud adoption"

"Weeks instead of years."

Sure, on paper this sounds great—who doesn’t want faster approvals? But here's the dark side:✅ Faster approvals = Less technical review.✅ Less technical review = More room for engineering shortcuts.✅ More engineering shortcuts = Increased long-term reliance on "patches" and "upgrades" (which, of course, Evil Prime will happily provide—for a price).

The key here is proprietary lock-in. If Evil Prime gets a solution through this fast-track pipeline and builds it using proprietary standards, then future upgrades and integrations will require Evil Prime’s involvement. That's not just market dominance—that’s vendor dependency at scale.

🥷 "More flexibility and better collaboration"

Ah yes, the old "middleman" problem. FedRAMP has acted as a gatekeeper between CSPs and agencies—sometimes slowing down the process but also ensuring a degree of oversight. Removing that barrier means:👉 Direct negotiation between CSPs and agencies.👉 Less transparency in pricing and terms.👉 More room for side deals and private arrangements under the table.

Who benefits most in this environment?👉 Not small businesses.👉 Not mid-tier players.👉 Only the primes with existing agency relationships, lobbying muscle, and embedded operational influence.

Once Evil Prime gets direct access to agencies, the floodgates open for predatory contract structures and behind-the-scenes influence.

🩸 "Engineer-friendly security requirements that are easy to implement"

Translation:👉 Lower technical barriers to approval.👉 Less scrutiny on security architecture.👉 More room to sneak in proprietary solutions.

Evil Prime’s playbook thrives on "easy" security standards because it allows for:✅ Under-engineered initial solutions that lead to long-term sustainment contracts.✅ Deliberate technical gaps that require ongoing "consulting support."✅ Easier pathways to introduce closed-loop, proprietary systems that no other contractor can interface with.

😈 What Evil Prime Thinks:

This isn’t just good news—this is strategic realignment in Evil Prime’s favor:

1. No Sponsorship = Lower Market Barrier – Flood the marketplace with proprietary, vendor-locked solutions.

2. Automation = Fewer Human Gatekeepers – Remove technical oversight and push through suboptimal solutions that require long-term sustainment.

3. Direct Access to Agencies = Influence Over Requirements – Influence security baselines to align with Evil Prime’s proprietary systems.

4. Faster Approvals = Faster Lock-In – Faster deployment means faster entrenchment, making it impossible for competitors to dislodge Evil Prime’s foothold.

🏆 The Strategy:

1. Be First – Flood the marketplace early with "FedRAMP 20x Compliant" solutions before competitors can react.

2. Engineer Dependency – Make the initial solution look attractive (low cost, easy integration), but design it in a way that future compatibility requires Evil Prime’s involvement.

3. Backdoor Influence – Use direct agency relationships to "customize" security requirements that align with Evil Prime’s architecture.

4. Sustainment Trap – Once embedded, continuously push updates, patches, and "security enhancements" to extend contract life cycles indefinitely.

🏴‍☠️ The Endgame:

FedRAMP 20x is not about "efficiency"—it’s about centralizing control.

By stripping away bureaucratic barriers, GSA is setting up an environment where:✅ The biggest players (like Evil Prime) will push out smaller competitors.✅ Direct CSP-to-agency relationships will create an insider advantage.✅ Automation will eliminate meaningful oversight.✅ Proprietary lock-in will create perpetual sustainment contracts.

This isn’t cloud modernization.This is cloud colonization—and Evil Prime is already planting the flag. 😎